Right Now

I'd so love to be an organized fantastic Mom and blogger, like I used to be.
Unfortunately, I just don't have whatever I used to have that made it possible.

Looking back, there were such sweet photos and story tellings. Little things were so big and special to me. I had enthusiasm and excitement about everything we did. I planned and implemented with excellence, documented it pricelessly, and pulled it all off without a hitch.

The cookie making was precious and photo-worthy. The art creations and music were beautiful. Additional enriching activities fell into place like I had a clue what I was doing. Everything seems to have had a special little sparkle and shine.
It all happened so naturally.

I miss that.

Now, it's a good day if we complete half our list and I actually get you to bed on time.

I'm going to try, again, somehow to see things the way I used to. It's all right here, I know it. I've just allowed myself to dull down so much. As a result, the luster is just fading further and further. I really want back the perspective I had during those rich years.

It's lame that I have to go into my own archives to find inspiration from my old self. :(


We've been up to so much. Most of it is less fun and more necessity than I love.

I feel like the time I make/find for our horse is too few and far between, and not falling into place. It's just happening because it needs to happen. I'd love to see her more.

I've had A LOT of photography bookings in the past six weeks. A huge blessing in many ways.
I'm making my way through the editing and shipping fine, but it's time consuming in these quantities.
Yesterday, a past client got upset with me and canceled our session in a few weeks, and I was actually relieved. :(

You're plugging away through school, doing SO well. But the fun things, the making play dough, and teepees, and digging stuff up outside doesn't usually happen. By the time we are finished with your 4.5 hours of learning, text work, writing, reading, typing, etc... I have too many other things to accomplish to get into the "fun" things with you. :(

We've been spending a lot of time with friends. Both in playdate settings and individually.
I have been doing more Moms' nights out, and we've been making a point of having your friends over a couple of times a week. It usually looks like Zach on Saturday, Jaymee on Sunday.

Jay and Zach are definitely your best friends. You have other friends you love to be with and play famously with. But you could LIVE with Jay and Zach. They come in the morning and leave, begging to stay, in the late afternoon.

All this time with people has been very good for you. And me. Balancing.

We've been diving deep into the Bible. Me myself, and also with you separately. You have been learning to study the Word. You're learning the Armor like never before. Kind of getting into light warfare stuff.

You are seeing a counselor. You have been for about five weeks. It's about things I've never written here because it's really your own business, and this is a somewhat public place. But you are amazing. SO strong and intelligent. Dr. Charles quite often refers to you as "brilliant".

You blow me away. I would love to compile some writings of the things you have brought to the table to ask, share, sift through, and teach us. I think when you are an adult you will look back and be amazed at how young you were when you started being a philosopher, scientist, and theologian.
We all stand back and watch with awe.

It is hard for you, though. There is so much you don't understand, yet. Your experience level at seven is limited and it makes it difficult for you to put things into perspective. This ultimately results in you going places "no man would dare to go" in your mind.

But seriously, honey, you handle it so well. You think your failing. You think there's something wrong with you, and you're different and weird. It breaks my heart that you can't see what we can see. All of us. Your Mom, Dad, your counselor, our friends and family. You are really special. And these beginning struggles are making you SO strong, wise, and equipped. You're in some tough training, but it will all be worth it in the long run.

Tonight we spent the afternoon and evening at Miss Nina's with her family and our friends. Moms, Dads and kids gathered at their house for Jordan's 4th Birthday Party. It was so much fun. You loved it.

Your card and gift for Jordan made Nina and I cry. You asked me if you could give him one of your toys. Not just any toy. A toy that was your favorite for a long time. A BIG toy. Jordan LOVES it and plays with it the entire time he is at our house. I was shocked that you wanted him to have it. It was SO selfless, thoughtful, loving, and sacrificial of you. You were SO excited to see him receive it. It was precious.

Tomorrow, your Dad has the day off. We are going to do school in the morning, and I would like to take you trail riding with Gwin. I want to invest myself in our day. Not just go through the motions of it, but really BE THERE. I'm going to pray and try harder.

I'm not burned out or overwhelmed. I'm just tight busy, and need to draw back a little rather than putting my nose to the grind stone and cutting it off! :)

We'll see.

Your First Trail Ride

With all this puppy action we have spent zero time with Gwin this week.
So, when I stepped outside with Frank for his potty break
and felt the warm sun beating on my face,
I thought, "what better time than now?"

I also decided that it was high time I start letting you
ride Gwin outside of the round pen.

Unfortunately, I didn't take a real camera with me. 

But I was grateful to at least have my cell phone to take pictures with.

You were SO adorable.

Of course I couldn't leave you head off onto the trails, and woods, and fields alone. 

We saddled her, and wore her rope harness over her bridal and bit.

You had a set of the rope reigns on the bit,
and I had a small lead rope under her chin on the rope harness.

You mounted and I walked her across the street and through about half the trails.

Then you rode her all around by yourself in one of the fields.

You did really well.

At one point, you asked me if there was anything I would rather be doing more.

I didn't know why you asked, but I was actually wondering to God at that very moment

if there has ever been anything in my life that has brought me more joy than 

enjoying His sunlit creation, walking in an open field 

next to my horse, and my amazing little boy learning to love and ride? 

I told you honestly, "Nothing."

And on the return ride I did not lead you. You drove.

It was SO cute seeing you in your little cow boots, jeans, and camo hoodie, 

sitting in your little western saddle, reigning Gwin.

I'm so proud of you.
There's no way to explain what it's like to own, love,
and grow with a horse.
It's an absolutely incredible, irreplaceable, priceless gift.
And I'm so glad you get to experience it for yourself.

After the ride we worked together to sweep up the barn and paddock.
I could tell you enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment.

It was an awesome afternoon.

Franklin Digory

Oh my! He's fantastic.

He has SO much character!

He's full of so much personality, 
gumption, fearless-caution, sweet cuddly lovingness, 
spurts of high energy countered with hours of log-like sleeping...

He is SO sweet. 

He lays on the wood floor instead of on rugs, blankets or dog beds 

(like he knows he'll be big one day). 

He loves EVERYONE. The dogs, the cat and the people.

He is not particularly careful in his surrounding, 
but very careful with hearts.

He's quite smart for his age.

He's very good about going potty outside. 
He already whines at the door! 
He's only whined to go outside and when left alone... 
and that actually sounds more like a velociraptor. :)

He shines for the camera, 

follows everyone's footsteps, 

and does NOT like being left completely alone, yet. 

Not to worry. No one cares to leave him alone.

He doesn't like his sling. 
He's warm, and he knows what will be cool and 
what it going to be stuffy and hot.

He loves Apple, who thinks he's her baby. 

He and Yuki are... taking their time. 
Yuki plays when he asks, but runs away when he wants to cuddle. 

They are both successfully sleeping in our bed.

Frank's first night, he slept halfway before he had to go potty outside. 
Then he slept until morning again. 
Last night, he slept THROUGH the night! :) 

We're having tons of fun enjoying the new "baby" of the house. 

The cuteness never ends.

(ps: this was on the ride home. 

otherwise he has never been closed into his kennel) 

Frankie

Finding our Bulldog may have taken a back seat to our 

beautiful long neck girl, Gwin, when I came across the random 

"horse" ad under "dogs" on the pet finder 

while searching out your Dad's dream dog in March.

Although he has wanted a bulldog for... ever, 

he has most adamantly insisted on it during the past 6-8 months. 

And although we had decided never to have three dogs 

at the same time again, he uses his cuteness and reasoning 

to smooth over my ridges and convince me it would be for the best. 

"We have such a large house now, and so very few of us to occupy it. 

Look at all the land we own. 

We're so much smarter about dogs than we were 10 yrs ago. 

We always have Jeff to help. 

We love dogs so very much. 

Think of all the joy we get from the two we have? 

They're perfect and they would LOVE a new brother..." 

Oh yeah. It's like that. Over time, it wears your Mom down. :) 

It's October. And it was my heart, after God lead us to Gwin 

instead of a "Frank" in March, 

to have this dog thing nailed down for your Dad 

-for our family, by his Birthday. 

In the past month, I had gotten a surprising agreement that 

a Chihuahua (hardly a full dog) would satisfy in place of 

the bulldog that we both determined would be far too expensive 

and could be too risky, health wise.

Although I never really stopped looking periodically for our boy, 

I was on an avid hunt for the much less expensive, 

much teeny tinnier, Chihuahua. 

I dug and I searched, and I prayed for God's hand. 

For His provision, open and closed doors, confirmation. The usual. 

Only a couple of weeks in and I had found 

plenty of what I was looking for. 

But nothing that was ours. 

And then, yesterday I found Frankie. 

He is 7 weeks 5 days old, today. 

He is an English Bulldog x Boston Terrier. 

The hybrid we had looked for months ago and couldn't find much of, 

not to mention those prices! 

In the way that our dream Pug, Yuki, is mixed with Boston Terrier, 

breeding out the health issues that come with all that inherent pudge, 

Frankie is safe in the same taught genetic make up 

of a much less wrinkly mess of a guy. 

He will also be quite a bit smaller 

- which was the original hope, but mini-bulldogs double 

the already astronomical price of an English Bully. 

Which was not happening.

Though, Frank has an adorable squishy face, 

is as young as you can get a pup, 

and is priced at half what a normal English Bulldog costs, 

it was actually the name that sealed the deal for me. 

It has always been known that if a French or English Bulldog 

came into our home, he would be Frank or she would be Frankie. 

What were the odds that this perfect pup was already 

fittingly named just for us? :)

When I called Sue, the breeder, she got back to me within the hour. 

She not only answered well the usual questions, but she is GOOD. 

I loved her story, her breeding situation, 

how she spoke of her family, her pets...

While located quite a distance from us, as most of our pets have been, 

Frankie is the second farthest, being all the way in Dubuque, Illinois. 

But we have a plan set in motion. 

Sue, is graciously meeting us in Madison 

(where we will of course sneak in a visit with the S family) 

on Monday, the 8th. 

That is in FIVE DAYS!!!

I'm amazed at the other small but impossible 

confirmations I have received. 

We won't be able to surprise your Dad 

the way we'd hoped, for his birthday. 

This was too big of a decision not to include him in it. 

There's no point in getting him his dream dog if it's not. 

Hearing the whole story and taking one look at Frankie, 

your Dad was so in love he started doing that overly rational 

saving-his-heart-for-the-very-moment-he-holds-his-new-bundle-in-his-arms

thing he did when he found out that you were coming. 

It looks something like tear brimmed denial.

And since everything fell into place so easily and beautifully, 

I'm awake at 4:30a and can not fall back to sleep. 

The excitement of a new baby in the air is far too much for slumber! 

I can not wait for you and I to bring our little one home! 

"Frankie"

SO SWEET

Here is a pic of Frank's Mama

(a stunning resemblance to our Melvin)

And here is Frankie's gorgeous Champion Bread Papa

 This is what a grown English Bulldog/Boston Terrier 

(with a lot more facial markings than Frankie) looks like.

Seven!!!

On Saturday morning you and your Dad

went for your traditional breakfast 

followed by some fun at Sir Bounce A lots. 

I was grateful to have you out of the house

so I could get your Birthday Cookies made

in time for your party the next day.

It took a long time but it was so much fun!

And of course, you loved the Bouncy Houses.

_____________________________________________________

On Sunday morning, you and I 

went to A. Erika's and U. Robert's.

You and U. Robert fixed the squeak in the 

screen door on the porch, 

and then the two of you went fishing.

You caught a tree.

A. Erika and I drank our coffee on the porch 

listening to you and U. Robert yelling and laughing.

I'm so glad you have him -both of them- 

in your life. 

Once we were home, Jay showed up to 

play with you before the party.

You're Dad and I got the yard and deck ready

for the big birthday bash! 

We set up the long folding table with 10 places

for you and all your guests. 

We put out buckets and jars of fun:

cowboy hats, bandanas, sherif stars, mustaches,

and candy, candy, CANDY!!! 

We hoped to have everything set up so 

the "no-parents" party would run smoothly

with just he and I and Auntie Pam.

We had the cookies finished, 

the ice cream balled, sprinkled and 

frozen in cup cake papers,

and we had all the glass bottled sodas

on ice in the giant wheel barrow.

Everything was so cute and ready to go!

All of your friends arrived between 2:00 and 2:05.

They put mounds of wrapped presents and cards

on the gift table, and headed out to the woods to play.

A. Pam, Miss Kelly, Miss Teri, your Dad and I

all stood on the deck with no idea what to do. :)

So we decided to break out the treats, first!

What better way to get you all running back to the deck

than to yell "cookies and ice cream!" 

Everyone sang Happy Birthday to you, 

and you blew out your candle...

a few times. :)

Everyone loved their Birthday treats.

Even the Daddy. 

After the first sugar injection

we went to the side yard for

Sac Races.

Everyone had a blast racing.

All the kids won a prize for 

1st, 2nd, and 3rd places.

After the Sac Races, we all played

Catch the Flag.

This was a game that you played 

and LOVED at Summer School this year. 

You couldn't wait to get your own friends together

to enjoy a game of it in your yard.

It was very very fun!

After the games we opened gifts.

 It was great to watch all these special friends,

most of whom you've known for so long,

gather around you to see what you got 

and to share their gifts with you.

The girls were enjoying having some fun with you...

and of course, they were loving

to dress you up in your new black cat costume.

Next, everyone got their hats, bandanas, 

stars and mustaches on for pictures.

The group photos were fun,

funny,

crazy,

and

plentiful!

You sure have one zany group of pals!

Finally, it was time for the pinatas!

First, the horse...

and then the Lightening McQueen Car.

Everyone made a haul.

And those cowboy hats came in extra handy for scooping,

carrying, and storing all those goods!

The parents each picked their kids up

between 5:00 and 5:10

(some prompt folks we know).

 But we didn't want things to end quite so abruptly for you.

We knew you would enjoy playing 

with some of your gifts with a friend after the dust settled... 

so we arranged for your favorite girl,

Jaymee Glynn, to stay late.

It was such a great, crazy, and fun party!

I'm glad it's over. :)