Carlos

We're so excited!!!

Carlos has been in our plans for almost as long as Frank was. However, we did NOT plan to have him until the sad day, many many years from now, when our home would expectedly go from three dogs down to two. 

I will admit, I long and hard fought bringing a fourth dog into the family (much the way I fought for years against getting a third). But after the kitty came and surprised us all - since he's made his way into even Yuki's heart and dog beds, fitting in so perfectly, making all of the love and goodness that is what we call our "Zoo" swell to yet greater depths, it has been hard not to notice the absence of Carlos, the chihuahua that Greg has wanted since the day he watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua for the first time. 

Although, I'm a firm believer in directing my focus and energy on the loves I have if and when I get that puppy feeling some women get about babies, I won't say that we haven't looked for him now and then. This isn't "my" dog so much as it is Greg's, and there has been an empty little Carlos shaped hole in his heart for a long time. As firm as my opinion stood, it's not easy to watch the man I love long (and sometimes beg and plead) for his dream dog. 

Any light seeking we've ever done has ended in closed doors and not right timing, surrounded in whispers from God asking us to hold off on our addition. There have been a couple of anxious times when we've really had to trust Him beyond our own feelings and let go. 

We were ALL surprised that this wasn't the case this time. I'd been feeling more like my guys about how ready our home and hearts are, and then one thing led to the next and before I knew it doors were flying open and we were wide eyed staring at each other with smiles, checking every footing before we stepped through. Our final prayer to God before we were certain was that He would make a way where there wasn't one - and if the way wasn't made and we lost this puppy, then he truly wasn't ours… and then we waited. 

When we got the message from our contractor saying that he would not be able to begin his work on our house as scheduled this week, and we needed to push things off a few days, we knew in our hearts this was it.  

And when I double checked with God, just to be sure I wasn't crazy, and I felt Him bless me and shine, I stopped caring about the one thing that has really held me back about this Carlos thing… 
what will everyone think of us!?

God hasn't given us children, but one thing is for sure, what goes on in our home with our pets comes from Him. Having the kind of order, submission, temperaments, relationships, bonds, obedience, sweetness, behavior, health, and love that we have among three dogs, our cat, and a mouse on the kitchen counter, is a pretty incredible miracle. 

We have been very blessed.  
And we are grateful that we will be so blessed again, with another sweet little boy, tomorrow!!! 

Someday (a repost from July 10, 2010)

Someday you won't ask me to come watch you zoom your green plastic rummage sale boat through the bubbles in your bath.

Your height, chest, waist, ankles, and wrists will be done growing under my close observation.

Someday you will not want to cuddle up for prayers and stories.

You will not insist on laying directly on top of me when you come into my room for love before sunrise.

Someday you will not automatically reach for my hand in the parking lot.

I will not crouch quietly in the stairwell to make sure the big kids aren't talking about anything I do not want to have to explain to you later. 

Someday you won't be my every-moment-of-every-waking-hour sidekick. 

We won't write in the same gratefulness journal.

I won't be allowed to scrub the dirt from under your fingernails and toenails. 

Someday you won't run in the room during a commercial break to tell me all about the latest infomercial fad in great detail 
with all your adorable passion and zest.

Someday I won't get to explain things to you. 

Someday I won't need to tie or brush or bandage or buckle. 

I will watch you set off on your own; 
for a drive, 
to hang out with friends, 
on a date,
for a sport, 
for work... 
for college, 
your apartment, 
for your wife, 
your home, 
with your babies in tow...

Someday we will be apart and I will be learning how to live a life where you and I just visit. 

And as much as I fear that is going to turn to mush the best things I've ever known in and of me, I'm much MUCH more afraid of missing one single beat of today than to consider pulling back before my time. 

So, 

today I will come when you call. 

I will listen when you talk.

I will follow the butterfly with you all afternoon.

Today I will play board games.

I will race hot wheels.

I will walk, skip, and jog behind you on your bike.

I will notice every new centimeter of your size, every sweet curl in your hair,
every single beautiful expression you offer.

Today I will share everything I have. 

I will guide, counsel, teach and protect. 

Today we will be together. All day.  

We will explore and find, build and climb, hike and scale, swing and jump, roll and giggle. 

We will wait and write, sing and dance, hold and squeeze.

Today I will make sure that I never ever forget this time. 

And my solace will remain in the Truth: that when the photos are washed away, 
when the journals and blogs are gone, when the baby quilt and safe-kept first shoes are ashes 
we will be together forever. 

One day you, your Daddy and I will be united together with the One who created us. 

And there my heart won't slide over tears, and I'll never have to get over letting you go, piece by piece.

And that is the day this time can't slip away.