With spring around the corner (please) it was time for the christmas reindeer canvas to take it's place in the basement storage with the rest of our seasonal art work. 

After some brainstorming I decided to make a convertible art piece for above the living room couch. You decided that this time around the art would feature robots!
(You make an adorable robot.)

We started out mixing paint to make colors. Why is it that I can't ever settle with a color as-is? I'm always mixing and re-making even the wall colors in the house. 
Once we had the right colors, I taped off crooked squares while you painted each color onto the canvas. 

Next, we made quite a mess laying out supplies, drop cloths, papers and inspirations. Then we began painting robots onto 12"x12" card stock paper. It took me the entire time to make just one robot. Meanwhile, you had made more than we even needed with props to boot! :)

It was so fun to work side-by-side sprawled out on the floor, with pandora shooting out everything from "Jesus, lover of my soul" to "if you liked it then you shoulda' put a ring on it", laughing and talking and sharing creative time together.

And when it was all finished we chose which pieces to use, cut them out, haggled over what would go in which crooked square, and finally hung them with double sided tape and glue. Wa-la!

Convertible art.

And the colors are quite nice if I do say so myself. :)



I'm learning that a first child, and an only child, will have more of a perfectionist perspective. And then you have my genes thrown in there and I'm sorry to say, we have our work cut out for us. :)

You are doing great at verbal affirmations and believing what you say. You have no problem repeating (it's more like team pep-chanting now) the things I have been working on with you. 

We say:
I am good.
I am special.
I am important.
I am worthy.
I can not be perfect. No one is perfect.
All I have to do is my best.

We read Bible verses about how you were created, for what, and who you are to God, your creator. You are learning about the power and strength you have in you from Him. How important it is to make choices to love and serve others in a Christ-like way... that people can experience God's love through the way others love them.

All of this has brought about change in you. You are bolder and less apprehensive or skeptical when it comes to new people. You are comfortable leading and trusting your instincts. You have been stepping out. You LOVE going places now. You can't wait to visit Auntie Pam's, Miss Kelly's, or go on a playdate with Noah and Jordan. And you even PLAY with the kids like a regular kid! :)

We're grateful for these changes and so proud of you. It's so fun to watch you grow and amazing to see the ways that God interacts and participates in your upbringing.

SUCH a Blessing! :)


the things you come up with:

“Hilariously, (Yuki) is just looking for more food.”

“where did you take that ball, pug? Oh, it appears to be under here.”

The NEXT day still:

“come on pug, show me where the ball is. I’m not gonna give you a belly rub if you don’t show me where the ball is.”

me: I am ready for this snow to melt.
you: not me. I love the snow.
me: I would like some summer.
you: well, don’t tell God that, cuz I want winter to stay!

nanna:  That is called a hot air balloon.
you:  I know that.
nanna:  Boy, you know everything.
you:  No.  God does.  It just seems like I do.

During math this morning I noticed that you knew there were six or eight objects in stacked rows of three and four without counting them. I covered your page when you identified six without counting again, and I asked 

“how you do know that is six without counting it?” 
You responded, “if you add the top three to the bottom three you know that’s six, right Mom?”
All I could do was cry. I don't know how you can know that already? I’m so happy for you that you are establishing such a strong relationship with numbers so early. I didn’t
know numbers until I was an adult. You are going to be so fun to teach! :)

After taking your first bite of our fresh warm cinnamon streusel
muffins you exclaimed, “this is exquisite!”. 

I asked your Dad if he could put the milk away for me. I said, “I forgot... like a boob.” Then I realized you were within earshot and I cringed in your direction, ashamed for calling myself a “boob” in front of you. A frozen moment passed and then you broke the silence squeaking, “awk-waaard!” 

Your Dad fittingly stated, "he fits in just perfectly around here."

And you certainly do my little sweet. You are quick, witty silly, and fun... just to name a few. 


my yesterday

So, yesterday, I got out of bed at 2:34am once establishing that falling back to sleep was no longer an option.
I did some stuff around the house, worked on my website and made my husband his favorite breakfast sandwich when I heard him get in the shower. 

About 15 minutes later we  got in a fight about whether to keep or remove an old dresser that is missing a drawer. I wanted it GONE when the new one arrived. 

I lost. 
He rejected my sandwich at hello, and I stuffed the 2000 calories myself instead of having my new breakfast favorite of fresh carrots and Monterey jack cheese squares.

I took my son to his homeschool co-op with all the little Valentines he'd hand-written for his special little Valentine's party. They decided to do the party late (assuming we could all stay after the classes) and we had to miss it because I had to drop him off at his Nanna's and go to my therapy massage followed by a Chiropractic appointment. 

I brought Zeek to my Mother-in-law's house. She was not there. She showed  shortly afterward with Michael (he and his Mom live with her now). Michael had a new sword to go along with his toy gun. Everyone in the universe KNOWS that Greg and I think weapons and small children do not mix well, but I had to talk with her about it again to have the sword put away.

I left my Mother-in-law’s house and pulled my Jeep onto the empty road, only to have the neighbor across the street pull out of his driveway and plow the back of his car into the driver’s seat of my Jeep.

1 police report 
1 exchange of insurance info 
1 private (though later suspected) conversation had between me and mr. cop about said "equal fault" (said the man who hit me, of course)
1 argument between the man and the cop, who documented what  was clearly true about whose fault it was 
1 final word from the cop being the threat of citation, which in turn finally calmed down the neighbor car-bludgeoner

So, I carried on my way with a whistling driver's side door, now minus the steam shower they recommend for the type of knot grinding therapy I was in for. 

Once at my massage appointment, I realize that I never shaved my legs that morning (minor in comparison, I know but certainly relevant). 

Then, 45 minutes of hearing how symmetrical and bone-like all the knots in my neck, shoulders, mid-back, and calfs are, along with the intense pushing and pinning of such boney knots. 
Finally, the body crusher therapist tells me that the majority of them aren’t going to budge, and asks, “are you under a lot of stress?”

Next I was on the way to my Chiropractor appointment.
I know this is a convenient schedule for a Mom whose car was just smashed into by another car just inches from her already screwed up knotty, unaligned body, but I swear I didn’t plan the accident part. It was just a convenience.

Before I arrive at the Chiropractor’s I called my Mother-in-law to see how my baby was doing (he was staying the night with my precious nephew, his toy guns and swords, and his Mom who just left his father). She said all was well and then asked Michael to “put the sword back under the bed, please.” I took out a little of my frustrations on her head by chewing it off a bit. We finished our conversation in short. I stuffed the welling tears on my way into the office.

Once in the adjustment room the assistant tells me, “the Dr. will be right with you”. I smiled as she closed the door, and then on came the water works. And I was thinking, “what is
this for?” I can NOT stop crying. And of course, the Dr. comes in. She has apparently seen this before, because she hands me some tissues and tells me to stop apologizing. She fixes my back. I propose to her, again. She declines the offer... again. And I return to my broken Jeep.

I stop at Jimmy John’s for some familiar friendly faces and a #5 with mayo and peppers. Because let's face it, on a day like this Jimmy is my heroine 
and my heroin.

Does anyone bother shouting , “welcome to Jimmy’s!” when I open the door? 

Not one.
Is there a smiling, customer friendly face waiting to take my order and hand me a custom sub out of thin air? Not at all.
Just a “what’ll ya' have” and a hand awaiting payment.
I stuff my sandwich in my purse to go along with the lovely ensemble of stuffed tears, stress, and tension, and walk out to the tune of silence in the place of the usual, “have a good day!”  

I phone my Mother-in-law twice to apologize for eating her face off. She will not answer my calls.

Finally, once I am home, she answers her phone. Crying. :( I stuff humble pie down my throat, rightfully. And after the best most sincere apology of my life, she says, “fine”.
I briefly consider hanging myself and chose to try, try again. We come to an understanding. We wrap it up. It's over and done.

I prayed for my son, his exposure to whatever he may be influence with, for his Nanna’s strength and good judgement, and that he would be safe and happy for the night.

And finally, my husband walks in the door an hour early from work and saves the rest of my day with pampering, laundry folding, bedroom cleaning, show watching, good talking and laughing, and allowing me to go to bed at 7pm.

This morning I am awake again at 2:30am.
And I can’t help but smile as I reflect on the day before.
It was the best worst day ever.

Other than hurting my Mother-in-law (which I hate that I did) I was everything that I’ve wanted to be for the past 6 years but could never seem to live up to.

I smiled when it hurt.
I cried when the door was closed.
I didn’t piss and moan.
I didn’t snap at the people being paid to be of service who didn’t live up to my needs and expectations. I didn’t even let on that I was disappointed.
I presented the best, most authentic apology of my life (thanks to years of Pam's and Bethany's shining examples), and I didn’t freak out when it was rejected.

I praised God for the time sensitive perfectly placed car accident.
I spoke with the policeman in private AFTER making nice with the man who felt this incident was “all fair and even”.
I left my son over night with my Mother-in-law (in a house of less than stability right now) in complete trust and confidence that she could handle it.
And I made all of these choices from the heart. Not once did I do, say, or not say something that I forced or didn’t want to.

I have known myself for 31 years, so I know that none of this is short of a miracle. I am grateful for God's Mercy, Grace, and endless healing. I am in awe of the Fruits that come in result of loving and serving Him despite my many flaws. 

This morning I feel like I’m laying in the warm sun on a beach with a perfectly aligned un-knotty body and something more to offer than I came with in the beginning.
And that is good stuff right there.

Plus my Dad thinks I look like Katherine McPhee.
It’s all uphill from here.


lovin' that Nanna

You have been spending a lot of time with your Nanna lately. You sent her a letter last week. You knew exactly what you wanted to say to her when we sat down for Monday mail making, and you got right to it without hesitation. The letter read:

Dear Nanna,
We are getting a cat if you don't come over.
Love, Zeek

Nanna is very allergic to cats, and she knew what was good for her. She came right over! :)
You were so happy to have her at your house all to yourself to show her your toys, new cd player, and Guinea. She played upstairs with you for hours! Then right before the two of you slipped out to head to her place for awhile, I stole a few photographs of you together.

They are not only my all time favorite of her and you, but they are her favorite pictures of herself as well.  She does look SUPER cute in them. :)

You also spent the day and night at her house on Sunday, and you and I hung out with her for a few hours Monday morning when I came to pick you up. It was wonderful.

On Friday, after your co-op you are going over to her place to play with cousin Michael. You might even sleep over again, but we'll have to see. Mama is going out of town for the day Saturday and I'm not sure if I can handle living without you for that long!!! :)

I'm sure glad you have your Nanna though. You are so blessed!


summer lovin'

Things I am reminded of and am looking forward to everywhere I turn:

Nights on the deck alone with God, my laptop, the animals in the woods, the moths.

Nights on the deck with a good friend, delivery from Annavia's, card games, secrets and laughter.

Bond-fires during all hours, morning, noon and night.

hot dogs. marshmallows. smores. soda. texas garlic toast. sippy cups. kalbasa fried with apples and onions.

Exploring. Exploring. Exploring.

the hole digger. the shovel. the forts. the moss. the rocks.

The sandbox villages.

The birds nests.


The walks.

cameras. horses. birds. barn. woods. fields. plants. the yellow Vs. returning to this house.

Lawn work.

The look and feel of finished lawn work.
green grass. cleared beds. little flowers. beautiful textures between lawn and woods. black top.



Green. Green. Green. EVERYWHERE.

Deer and wild turkey.

Marty pool.
sun sitting. snacking with a journal and a drink. zippy splashing and squealing with giggles.

Lunches on the deck.

Bible mornings on the deck.
bird sounds. sun rises. cows mooing. turkey spotting.

waking up with the wild.

The tire swing.

Hammock time.

reading. cuddling. watching.

Friends over.

fire works. bond-fires. grilling out. screened room mama time. t-ball and bicycles.  

song. surprise. front door watchman. flat and dry. yuki chews.

All sliding glass doors and kitchen windows open.

Picking raspberries.

Walking sticks.

Neighboring bonfire smells.

This place makes winters easier & summers better to look forward to.

(posted last month today, without pics) 



At the beginning of the week we went to see Charlotte's Web at the Weidner. We bought tickets for a school-day showing as homeschoolers, therefore were seated with a bunch of area homeschool families.

(this is not my photo)

It was great. The excitement and camaraderie around being like minded, of the same lifestyles, priorities, goals... it was very cool. We were all extra early, of course. I think that's a homeschooler thing, too. And there was SO much introducing, questions and answers back and forth, the nods and smiles and belonging. It was positively nerdy. :)

During our "visitation time" we were invited to a co-op for kindergarten/first grade. I was so excited (and prayerful that we weren't walking in on a cult). We exchanged information and planned our first Friday to be the end of this week.

The play was AWESOME! 

We received the e-mail confirming our invite along with a list of supplies you would need to bring and the schedule for the day:
10 am – Spanish
10:30 am – Art
11 am – Gym
11:30 am – Lunch
12 – Music

12:30 – Free Play

Thursday evening I put together all your supplies in your Diego backpack. I packed us each a special school lunch (no, the nerdy-ness has not yet subsided) and I got your clothes ready for the morning. 

We arrived nice and early along with the other four homeschool families. Got settled in and we were off. 

Spanish rocked. You learned to count from one to five on your own (and you even remembered it at the dinner table for Daddy tonight). A big feat for a kid who doesn't watch Dora. :)

Then art, where you learned about indicating movement through lines in your drawings.
(in art the teacher asked if anyone knew what a noun was. there was a six year old and a ten year old in the room who had no idea. i knew you knew but wasn't sure you'd say, and i didn't want to be one of THOSE moms. :) finally, you looked at your teacher and said, "person, place or thing". She was SO shocked. i was beaming!) 

Gym was full of exercise and large group cooperative play. 
Lunch was a big social feast between conglomerating teachers and giggling students. 
In music you learned what notes are, and you got to listen to some music and draw the way you felt it sounded. 

You did SO well, which I believe we can thank your play-school experience for. You didn't mind if I came and went from any classes. You even went to you music class on your own with out me. 

You said that you liked it very much and would like to do it again. I agree and can't wait for next Friday! :)

I'm so grateful that God is leading us right to just what you need on this path.
I'm loving this season.
I always love a social season of scheduled plans and dates with friends just as much as I love our introverted homebody seasons.


family bowling

We went bowling last weekend on Sunday morning. We wanted to get out and do something, and since you loved it so much a few weeks ago on our date day we thought it would be fun to do again.

You showed your Daddy your true colors with your little disgruntled faces and stomping disposition when the ball didn't do what you wanted it to. He tried to work you out of it. I just sat back knowing that you'd change over soon enough on your own. It always takes you a minute to realize that no one is expecting the world of you (more on that later).

You bowled just one point under my score!

And your Dad kicked both of our butts, of course. 

After bowling we had lunch.

When we go out to eat, which we do often, you never want to sit by me anymore. You always want to sit on Daddy's side. 
This works well for me since I can see my two favorite guys, take all pictures I want, and I get a break to eat in peace on my own side of the booth. :)

I love my alone time with you, but weekends with just me, you and your Daddy, are my all time favorite. :)