As we've surrendered ourselves and our life to God, asking Him to guide us in His will this past year, He certainly has. We are not a picture of what we set out to look like. Our intentions, goals, and desires for the future are completely different than what either one of us had thought or even dreamed of before now.
To begin with, we, who were perfectly pleased with being a family of three, have been working for the past 10 months toward adopting a child. This month, Greg and I will sign our final certification papers and we will officially become a family in waiting!
This did not happen lightly or easily. There was a process to getting my previously very broken heart back up and healthy beating in this direction again.
In hindsight, it all seems so simple - but there were truly moments of concern, fear, and doubt for me. I expected to go through a lot of things I've heard other adoptive moms talk about experiencing on their roads to adopting their children, but I have not. Looking back at this year from here, I can see God's hand kneading, softening, and molding as He worked out every detail of this process with and for us. He is amazing, and we are so blessed. His plans and ideas are so much greater than ours.
Secondly, and even more out of the norm for our family, we have enrolled Zeek in public school for his 4th grade year. NOT something we ever planned for or imagined in 100 years. Ever. But God laid His will out and there was absolutely no doubt. This already was and is. We just had to follow the road up to it.
In what seemed like no time after, there were prayers and conversations, followed by research and phone calls, followed by more conversations and a tour, followed by more prayer and a willing enrollment from this otherwise 100% homeschooling family.
Who are we and where did our old selves go? :)
Finally, I am in the process of getting a job outside of the house. In the past couple of years I have felt a calling to work with seniors in their own homes. I did not know when or how this would come to fruition in my life, and I honestly assumed it would be when Zeek was older, or even graduated. But I was open to entering some kind of ministry that would allow me to serve in this way. I had even tried a couple of doors to no avail. I never imagined it would be in a work setting as an employee. But again, after a series of undeniable messages from God, I applied for a position as a senior care provider for a local company, only to learn that they have a Christian foundation are very excited to welcome another believer to their company. I have not received an official hire as of yet, but this process is also underway.
So, in the course of a year, we went from where we were, which I can barely remember who, why, or how anymore - to an expectant family waiting for a child, a homeschool family in the public school system, and a stay-home-mom and homemaker, working outside of the home she's made.
And I could cry for the joy that overwhelms me in this life being transformed from ours to His in such substantial and indisputable ways.
"If you cling to your life you will lose it, but if you give up your life for Me you will find it"
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."