You're playing it now. Just like you did yesterday - endlessly, with an incredible passion, drive and determination (and a little "Eddie Vedor", as your Dad I tell you when you get all serious and stunted by your artistry).
Your personal interpretation and the way you've related to the lyrics is amazing. I'm not sure how you can do that at 10.
I couldn't be more proud. I pray that the hidden skeptical, self-critical, brooding, loathsome, introverted, Ezekiel-esque, character you have carried inside since half through your third year of life homes it's rightful place in the heart of music. It's been the provision God has gifted so many of us as a way to live with the realization of our condition in flesh. I couldn't be happier for you.
Don't take it as a hit when I say you act like Eddie, or tell you that you're a wacko when it comes to your music. Don't get mad at me when I try to get a quick photograph of you behind those keys, hair over your eye, tears streaming down your cheeks, playing your heart out. It is all out of love, pride, and respect for this journey you are taking. I'm so grateful for it.
When you turn away from the process in frustration and disgust, declaring that you are finished, know that I smile inside and hold your place. That's the reason why, when you turn around within minutes to run back, you find me there waiting.
I got you. I get you.
I spent the same endless hours falling in love and making it mine when I was your age. Still do it.
You got the best of both of us.
Like Daddy, you're so technologically genius that without him to guide you there would be no way - I would be completely lost to the depth you have gone.
And like Mommy, you have music to make all the difference to your broken heart - to stop all the pain. And I'm honored to stand by you and support you every step of the way.
People talk a lot about how babies and toddlers grow up too fast. And you know we've never felt that way here. You were a constant part of my every single everything for those little years. I never missed a beat. It fully consumed my heart and mind.
It's not that I feel the speed of time. Now that you're old enough to discover your own paths. To chose what you watch or read without me needing to invest in the same to protect you. To gravitate towards the friends you want and not require my active relationship with their parents. To dive into your writing, technology, and music in a way that only calls for my support rather than so much leading or guiding anymore.
When you talk, I don't hear us anymore. I heart you. You dress like you, have hair like you, buy the species of fish you like… You don't ask me questions as often as you find the answers for yourself. It's painful and beautiful, having you break into your own, while breaking out of me.
It's important and right. But it sucks in a way you can't understand right now.
So special, having you.
You're the highlight of my whole life.
The best part.