the pleasures of being mommed to death

While I want my son (and his wife and children) to read this someday, 
I'm not going to write this one directly to him.

Preface: I do want to be a parent. I do really really love my son. I'm not being ungrateful. I'm just being honest.

There's this thing he's been doing. I'm sure a lot of kids do it. I remember specifically one other time where he went through the same phase. I remember it being among some of the most difficult times of motherhood for me.

I seriously want to just crawl under something and hide... or maybe lick a window.

If I had to give this phase a name I would call it The Incessant "mom" Stage.

This is where everything he says starts with a quick simple "mom?", which translates in no uncertain terms to:

I have a girlfriend, Emily, who is a police officer. She and I have been friends for 20+ years. She wishes we lived closer so we could sneak out for Mamas' nights, have bon-fires and smores with reese's peanut butter cups, and get our boys together to play more often...
And while all of that is true and lovely,
I wish we lived closer so I could pay her to drive over here and take my kid away in the back of her squad car.

If I wrote down every current occurrence of this "mom"-ing within an hours time, I'm pretty sure I could convince any female cop to arrest him, or at least take him for a ride to save us both.

The charges:
Parental Chinese Torture Tactic with Attempt to Drive MOM Clinically Insane

Mom? Can I watch a show?

Mom? What is this?

Mom? You HAVE to see what the cats are doing!

Mom?  Can you come here a minute... something is happening with my arm.

Mom? Where is the pug?

Mom? How do I make this work?

Mom? What day is it?

Mom? Remember that time when...

Mom? What does this say?

Mom? Can I have a popsicle?


Mom? Can I get a popsicle myself?

Mom? I can't set up coins on Touch Cats anymore!

Mom? Can I call Dad?

Mom? Have you ever had a feeling like something was pushing on you, but it wasn't?

Mom? I'm thirsty.

Mom? Did you get the mail yesterday?

Mom? Yesterday means the day before today.

Mom? Can I have my popsicle?

Oh, h
ave mercy on my soul!

I'd change my name if it worked, but I already tried that the last time we went through this. I love the kid. I do.



  1. this cracks me up...when my kids get on this kick I report that I have changed my name for the day and if they can guess it then they call on me but until then DON'T!

    Gotta love it, gotta love it!

  2. oh, doll...

    tonight was the night that i should have had the video rolling on emmett for you. i'm so done.

  3. Oh I am laughing...as a mother of six and been through this stage a couple of times, I can so relate. I wrote a post about "I can't hear myself thinking"....too, too funny! Now one day, believe it or not, but you will sooooooooooo miss this stage. I have four of my six out on their own and you sometimes want to go back and visit these days.