There are things that I know I want to tell, teach, and instill in you during your young life. I wait on the right time to share each thing with you like waiting to open a shiny wrapped present. Most of our gift boxes are filled with trinkets of what I have been taught by a parent or mentor along the way. Things that I hope will enrich your life.
The practice of seizing the moment has been one of the most life changing for me. And for you and I it is more like thousands of tiny packages to be opened one by one. Packages that are leaning against momentary spurts of everyday life to be recognized and accounted as miracles and blessings. Boxes that I have been opening by your side from day one of our journey together.
Tonight, we finished a delicious dinner that your Daddy made for us. You jumped from your chair and demanded "Mom, I want to koodle with you on the couch." So instead of cleaning up our own places, your Daddy winked and nodded and you and I literally ran to the living room to curl up under a blanked on the couch.
As we were laying there talking and cuddling I decided to invest a minute in my own little never-forget-this moment. I'm not sure what beckoned but I knew it was time to start including you in these secret measures of grateful evaluation.
I whispered that I had something special to tell you. You contently hung on my every word as we walked our eyes around the room, me telling you stories to summarize the way that things are right here and now. The way that things will never be again.
As your loving Daddy cleared the table for us and washed the dishes. As the golden hanging lanterns lit the dinning room with a glow like five moons. As the newly decorated shelves, frames, and art held decisions we made during our last week before ages 32 and 4 and a half...
I could see that you understood what I was saying. That you caught the magic of the choice.
I felt your heart while everything that seamed still and silent and had never interrupted you before came to life, holding more seem-bursting joy and love than you ever noticed before. I was so proud to be there as you learned that all we have to do to receive it is stop and look.
And now when I do this, when I make sure I'm looking around at all that is, I can share it with you. I can't wait for you to start doing the same with me. :)
I love you, Zeek.
I love you, Zeek.