Christmas happened, and I want to remember:

I was right in the middle of something personal, private and pitiful called my LIFE. Just on the edge of myself beginning to wonder if God was holding me so I would be okay or drop kicking me so i would GET okay when i looked out to the woods and saw ONLY this heart through my tear-filled eyes. BRIGHT and standing out at me. And instantly i knew exactly where I was.

Family Christmas Eve (23rd)
Prep went smoothly.
Our house was perfect and ready by about the very last minute.
Zeek looked adorable in his suit.
Greg gave everything first and got himself ready last (as always).
Becky, Jeff, Kim, Mark, Michael, Courtney, and Morgan were all here on time.
Ron, Sue, Natalie, and Andrew were very late.
Andrew loved his Cracker/Honkey place card.
The Robinsons toured the house. A lot.
Ron loved it so much he called me about it the next day.
He told me things that I will never forget.
Kim was good.
Michael and Zeek were wonderful.
Mom was a little distracted and sad (about her mom).
Dad knew it.
Gifts were calm, finally.
Ron gravitated to "the chair" and stayed there.
He read to Zeek, talked to Zeek, played with Zeek, crawled in the box with Zeek, and told me how very very much he loves him and thinks he's the neatest guy. He said, "I just love his spirit."
We're missing Natalie grow up. She's "teen" and valley, and adorable. and when?
Too much food.
Lots of goodness.
Went well enough.

Christmas Eve Day (24th)
Great relaxing morning.
I told Greg about being late and taking a couple of questionable tests among the latest "no".
A little hope and excitement reignited.
I napped.
I started.
We struggled.
I drove. Dealt.
Returned and made nice.
My parents came.
We ate and laughed and opened gifts.
Everyone went to bed.
I made a dino costume out of boxes for Zeek alone in the basement.
I looked at our tree with gifts and dino for the morning.
Reflected a little.

Christmas Morning (25th)
Zeek watched cartoons for about an hour.
i gave him some juice and breakfast in our bed while i showered.
My parents got up, too.
We all met in the living room for Zeek's gift opening.
He was sweet. "I have wanted this my whole life!" about everything, again.
pooping cat
daddy car xbox game
cookie cereal
daddy car race track
serious "dump trunk"
He played.
We ate.
We played.
All was good.
We went to Becky and Jeff's.
Opened gifts there.
Hung out.
Came home.
Scrabble that night.
Me, Mom, Rick.
I won by 98pts.

Good stuff.
The end.