Today I made an appointment for us to visit the Pre-school up the road on Thursday morning.
I've been considering it for awhile now, looking into enrolling Zeek in that center for a few hours a couple of days a week. The older he gets the clearer it becomes that he needs more social interaction. And as much as I am struggling with the first big step to providing that, I know in my heart that it's best thing for him. I know that we would be doing him a selfish disservice not to give this to him right now.
I'm trying to focus on the positives. It's laughable to think of myself as a mom who drops her kid off and picks her kid up. :( That MY kid might go to a "day care". That I would have to find some kind of enjoyment in having three hours, two or three days a week on my own. I'm just not that mom.
But I know how good this will be for him. How much more of "him" he/we will discover when he is encouraged to break out of his little (kitten) shell and be Zeek to a small censored little area of the world. All on his own. When he has the normal surroundings of other people and children to interact with.
Along with our plan to homeschool has always been the condition that it would be based on the individual child.
If anyone asked me what one thing Zeek needs that he doesn't have, I would say "people". Consistent contact with everyday people and other children. The lack of this is not only squelching his potential, but it's breaking him down. It's drying him out.
I know that being home, alone, with me in the country, all day long, everyday... even with Jaymee, the YMCA, the emporium and all... he is being held back.
Something isn't right about this.
I can feel that it is time for him to step out a little bit.
Almost a year ago God told me this would come in a much more specific way. I couldn't believe it and I hated it then.
But I'm starting to understand now.
I feel like a whole different stage of parenting is coming into play, and I was never prepared for things to change so much as they have, so quickly. But he's not a baby anymore. And he deserves this. Just like we deserve to be allowed to make our choices, right and wrong, good and bad. It wouldn't be fruitful if we couldn't.
And I KNOW that's God, because it goes against everything I've believed for years. all in one night.
Thank You God. Bring us, despite me. Guide and lead us in Your Will.
11.10.2009
11.09.2009
A Good Day
Today was one of those days. The rare kind that I want everyday to resemble. One of those "best" kind of regular days. Things just went so smoothly. Things got done. Priorities were inline and everything worked out.
- We woke around 7am and saw Greg off to work.
- Zeek played his new fish game on the island counter top while I made waffles next to him.
- He watched the red light and told me when it turned green so I could chop and wash his fresh strawberries.
- He ate while I started on the only TWO loads of laundry in the house. :)
- I made some calls out to snow removers, hot tub fixers, furnace guys... even measured the square footage of the driveway (2,400 sq.ft).
- We dove into school beginning with devotion, followed by reading, writing, and math. Then we read from Zeek backyard magazine and did an awesome art project of bugs using pipe cleaners and foam paper.
- Next Zeek and I went outside to pick sticks in the yard with the wheel barrow and have a fire.
- We cooked hotdogs, texas garlic toast, french fries, and smores on the fire, and gorged ourselves.
- And just as I was thinking "this is my best life ever", Greg called to tell me that he was having the best day and he actually felt good at work for the first time in a long time.
- We headed inside to give Yuki and Zeek a much needed bath. (i don't think my kid has EVER been so filthy before)
- After bath time, Zeek played boowa and kwala while i cleaned the bathroom upstairs and the pocket bathroom, the floors, and switched laundry.
- I took a shower, got the mail, and did some minor photo editing.
- Zeek ate some dinner.
- Greg came home and wrestled with Zeek for about a half and hour.
- Then he headed off to guys night.
- I fed Zeek a banana and some juice, and I'm about to head off to get him ready for beddy.
- I will read to him until he sleeps. Then I will come down, make a huge stinky sandwich and a fruity fun drink, and watch Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters.
AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, AWESOME, WONDERFUL DAY!I can't wait for tomorrow to do it all over again!!! :)
Thank You Jesus!
11.06.2009
imagination
Zeek likes to plan "surprise birthday parties". He tells us that he is making a party for us and that we can't come until he invites us. He usually bribes Yuki into his room, or the stairwell, or where ever he's setting up the event, and then he sets up an area for her with her own snacks, toys and bed.
He sets up all his stuffed animals as guests, wraps presents (his toys) in blankets and stuffs them into socks, makes pretend cake out of legos, decorates, and plans games. Then he calls the birthday person to come to their party.
We alway have to wipe our feet before we can enter. And then he leads us through each stage of the party. It is very creative and fun to see the ideas he comes up with.
He's especially happy this week to have all the balloons from Greg's party to use for his "surprise party" decorations. :)
He sets up all his stuffed animals as guests, wraps presents (his toys) in blankets and stuffs them into socks, makes pretend cake out of legos, decorates, and plans games. Then he calls the birthday person to come to their party.
We alway have to wipe our feet before we can enter. And then he leads us through each stage of the party. It is very creative and fun to see the ideas he comes up with.
He's especially happy this week to have all the balloons from Greg's party to use for his "surprise party" decorations. :)
11.04.2009
journaling
I can't count how many times I've been disappointed in the content of the new journal I started at the beginning of September. As I finished off the pages of my last journal I looked so forward to the fresh pages of the new adorable Xenia Taler journal I had in waiting. I was so excited that the start dates of each were so close to being one year apart to the day.
And when it was time to switch I wrote on the inside page of the new:
"This will be the second full journal that I am proud of...
Another GREAT year ahead!"
and then as soon as it started, my excitement was over.
Alex left
Then began a season of introversion
Depression fought for me
Confusion took over for a time
Greg got bit, then MRSA
I got MRSA and haven't been healthy since
and I kept saying "little did I know... I guess this book won't be as great as the last one..."
And then today I realized that the last book began with
The end of blogging for me
The letting go of two dear friends who were breaking me down
My photography crapping out
Grandma Ruth beginning her journey to leave us
And Nemo biting Zeek and having to be put down
And yes, there was unsurpassable freedom after the process of blog-less-ness ran it's course.
And there was healing around the corner for Emily and I.
And God granted grace in allowing Holly and I to peacefully part.
And my photography changed itself over and I learned that much like everything else, it will never be the same, and that is a good thing.
And Grandma Ruth didn't leave us, well not completely.
And we're all healing from Nemo and now there is Yuki.
But it didn't seem all that great in the start. In fact, one month in we found the house and God spoke and we waited for six months. And six months would have felt like forever at a time before God stretched me until patience became mine.
So how do I know that the current laundry list of what seems like a crap shoot of misfortune isn't in preparation for more unfolding, revealing, growing and healing He has up His sleeve for me in this journal's course?
Who am I to determine that this one isn't going to be any good?
What if it is?
In fact, I think it just might be, after all a really great journal journey.
yeah. :)
And when it was time to switch I wrote on the inside page of the new:
"This will be the second full journal that I am proud of...
Another GREAT year ahead!"
and then as soon as it started, my excitement was over.
Alex left
Then began a season of introversion
Depression fought for me
Confusion took over for a time
Greg got bit, then MRSA
I got MRSA and haven't been healthy since
and I kept saying "little did I know... I guess this book won't be as great as the last one..."
And then today I realized that the last book began with
The end of blogging for me
The letting go of two dear friends who were breaking me down
My photography crapping out
Grandma Ruth beginning her journey to leave us
And Nemo biting Zeek and having to be put down
And yes, there was unsurpassable freedom after the process of blog-less-ness ran it's course.
And there was healing around the corner for Emily and I.
And God granted grace in allowing Holly and I to peacefully part.
And my photography changed itself over and I learned that much like everything else, it will never be the same, and that is a good thing.
And Grandma Ruth didn't leave us, well not completely.
And we're all healing from Nemo and now there is Yuki.
But it didn't seem all that great in the start. In fact, one month in we found the house and God spoke and we waited for six months. And six months would have felt like forever at a time before God stretched me until patience became mine.
So how do I know that the current laundry list of what seems like a crap shoot of misfortune isn't in preparation for more unfolding, revealing, growing and healing He has up His sleeve for me in this journal's course?
Who am I to determine that this one isn't going to be any good?
What if it is?
In fact, I think it just might be, after all a really great journal journey.
yeah. :)
11.01.2009
october 31st
I think we've finally found a better tradition than what Greg and I grew up with in "halloween". I've wracked my brains trying to come up with something, because I know that it is difficult for Greg to have this day, his birthday no less, with nothing fun for his little boy.
So, I came up with a plan to have a party. Just the three of us. Lots of small token prizes, candy, games, movies, favorite foods and snacks, AND a treasure hunt!!!
We starting things off with the treasure hunt. We went all around the house from one gift with an attached clue to the next, receiving, reading, and seeking out the next hiding place. It was SO much fun! We all enjoyed it.
Next we played some new games that I picked up while eating snacks and candy.
Then we made little sand art bottles...
Finally, we ate dinner while we watched movies.
It worked out great, and no one was left disappointed, sad, left out, or bored.
In fact, we didn't even think about whether or not we'd get any trick-or-treaters. (which we did not)
This will definitely be the new thing for Greg's birthday. Although, next year there will surely be a grown up party too, since it will be his big four-O!
Now THAT is scary. ;)
So, I came up with a plan to have a party. Just the three of us. Lots of small token prizes, candy, games, movies, favorite foods and snacks, AND a treasure hunt!!!
We starting things off with the treasure hunt. We went all around the house from one gift with an attached clue to the next, receiving, reading, and seeking out the next hiding place. It was SO much fun! We all enjoyed it.
Next we played some new games that I picked up while eating snacks and candy.
Then we made little sand art bottles...
Finally, we ate dinner while we watched movies.
It worked out great, and no one was left disappointed, sad, left out, or bored.
In fact, we didn't even think about whether or not we'd get any trick-or-treaters. (which we did not)
This will definitely be the new thing for Greg's birthday. Although, next year there will surely be a grown up party too, since it will be his big four-O!
Now THAT is scary. ;)
10.30.2009
Em's visit
Today, Emily came to the house for the first time. She took Theo and Rubin. I met Rubin for the first time. Theo and Zeek played very well, as always.
Zeek hated Rubin because he is a baby, as always. And Emily and I had a really good time together with our boys.
Rubin is stunning. Really something. He's adorable in his pictures, but MAN is he great live. Adorable, sweet, and something I can't quite put into words. Something older than us, maybe. Wise, or kind of like Will from across the street. You can just see what kind of stellar grown men they will be. They almost are, already somehow.
Anyway, I forget what a one year old is like. Not to mention this one walks all over the place like he's been doing it for years.
It was a good visit. And watching Zeek with Theo, I felt sorry for about the thousandth time in the past 2.5 years, incredibly sorry that my son doesn't have a sibling. I'm beginning to wonder if this feeling will ever go away. It seems like the farther away I get from making it possible in ages anyway, the worse I feel.
God guide us. And heal us. And GIVE us the desires of Your heart for our lives and family.
Cute stuff
Me: Zeek, why do you call it a "glub"
Zeek: Cuz it has fingers
"don’t you know you’re supposed to help your kid out a little?"
Greg: dude your car’s faster than mine. That’s not fair.
Zeek: cuz I’m givin’ mine the juice!
10.29.2009
amber and hudson time
Amber and Hudson came from Florida for a visit. Amber likes to come to Wisconsin during autumn because she likes the leaves changing colors and falling (something they don't see much of where they live). This was the second time she has been here with us and the first time that she took someone with her.
Hudson is her youngest child who was four while they were here and turned five years old yesterday. Zeek really liked having him here. We could tell he was a little confused, possibly wondering if Hudson was a new foster child who would be staying when his mother left for home. But once we cleared that up for him, he LOVED having Hudson around.
They played legos, made playdough and lost themselves in it for hours, raced cars, explored the land, jumped in leaves, took a walk with us, took turns on the drums and guitar, watched Kipper, and just all around had a good time together. It was nice.
We are looking forward to seeing Hudson again when Amber comes back!
Zeek even said, the morning they flew home, that he would have liked for Hudson to live with us. :)
10.22.2009
the cheshire cat
Today was the production of Zeek's first play!!!
He has been going to practice every week on Thursday mornings for six weeks, and today was the big show.
He had a few roles, just like everyone else in the play. His favorite being the Cheshire Cat. He also played tweedledum and card #2.
During practices the kids made their own props. the were so cute. :)
Zeek practiced his lines almost every day at home. He was SO good at them.
I tried to prepare him for "the audience", but there was really no way around the initial shock.
After his first scene (during which he really didn't say his parts) he did better and better.
Greg, Nanna, and Puppa came to watch the play, too. Greg and I gave Zeek a whole bag of Skittles and a new monster truck hot wheel.
I videotaped the show and of course, took photos.
We are SO proud of him. He was such a big boy. He did so well. We'll see if he wants to do a play again in the future. It was so good for him on so many levels.
He has been going to practice every week on Thursday mornings for six weeks, and today was the big show.
He had a few roles, just like everyone else in the play. His favorite being the Cheshire Cat. He also played tweedledum and card #2.
During practices the kids made their own props. the were so cute. :)
Zeek practiced his lines almost every day at home. He was SO good at them.
I tried to prepare him for "the audience", but there was really no way around the initial shock.
After his first scene (during which he really didn't say his parts) he did better and better.
Greg, Nanna, and Puppa came to watch the play, too. Greg and I gave Zeek a whole bag of Skittles and a new monster truck hot wheel.
I videotaped the show and of course, took photos.
We are SO proud of him. He was such a big boy. He did so well. We'll see if he wants to do a play again in the future. It was so good for him on so many levels.
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